[ there's a long pause as she reads his text, biting her lip to conceal a smile. and thinking. ]
I haven't given it enough thought, to be honest. I know we have to choose to prevent being paired up with a stranger, but it's something I don't want to rush to define.
[ she's been a little preoccupied since coming here, after all. mostly his fault. ]
Someone older, for one; lots of experience under their belt.
What an odd coincidence. [ and not intentional at all. totally a coincidental whim. totally.
she's smirking as she continues: ] Someone who understands leadership, has had some kind of authoritative position. Someone who protects and inspires others.
Yours remains one of the biggest I've seen. [ she just loves that she gets to say that in this context.
she knows it, already; his confession makes her melt a little bit, anyway. ] I miss being able to boss you around, having you feel compelled to do whatever I told you to. I probably could've made even better use out of it.
[ they only got to scratch the surface of kinks she'd like to try, to be honest. ]
It doesn't have to be over, even if both of us get contracted. [ the simple fact that she can't get contracted to him, is the only thing that makes her a bit forlorn about this entire situation. ] Whomever it is will just have to deal with it.
And on those times you don't feel like doing what you're told, I can give in to you.
You're the only one I trust enough to see myself giving that kind of control over to, willingly.
I agree. [ He says that like they're having a meeting on battle strategies and not the fact that they apparently can't stop being intimate with each other now they've started, even once they're contracted to other people. ]
Clarke... you know you have to start trusting people other than me and our friends, right?
But I appreciate the sentiment. Really, I do. [ It means a lot to him to hear her say that. It comforts him in a way he didn't know he needed from her. ]
[ admittedly, not as hard as she could. this sort of thing doesn't come easily to her, to any of them generally, but to make allies and connections that might benefit them in the long run, trust is definitely needed.
it's just hard to think about trusting someone else fully, when bellamy is within easy reach. ] It's a slow process. [ there's scott, for one, who seems trustworthy despite being something she's only read about in the horror story section of the ark's library. ]
You haven't offered what you're looking for, in a dominant, by the way.
[ she smiles through that, but it dissipates when she reminds herself of the obvious — that it can't happen. ]
I'm being serious, though. I know you asked me the same question, but you have to consider your options — like who's going to benefit you the most, by being contracted to them.
[ she knows he is; she knows now that he's more than capable of it, that he can put his heart aside for the moment when he needs to.
she's grinning, though, because she can't help but tease him a bit, despite how seriously she wants him to take this decision. ] You say that, but then you start talking about the imprint of my ass. It made quite the impression on you, didn't it.
Just promise me you'll choose someone who's going to treat you well, too.
You made an impression on me a long time ago, Clarke. [ It's only now he gets to appreciate the finer things in life, like her ass. ]
You think I'd choose someone who treats me like dirt?
[ Treated like dirt, but be partnered with someone who could potentially help him in a lot of ways?
Treated like dirt, but maybe that's what he thinks he deserves?
...Okay, so maybe he could make a wrong decision when it comes to this. And maybe it's good that Clarke has reminded him what choice he needs to make, for himself, not just others. ]
[ that's just the thing - she doesn't think he'd choose someone deliberately who mistreats him, but she also knows how little bellamy tends to think of his own needs, wants and safety.
he deserves to have someone who's going to look out for him, the way she'd be doing in that role, if she could. but instead of pressing the issue - and it's not necessary to, he says he'll try, and she believes him for the most part - she follows the thread of his first statement. ]
[ that was the first time she'd seen him for who he was, as well — someone who didn't relish killing, someone who didn't even want to have that on his conscience, when it would relieve suffering — and she'd clung to that belief when raven had landed and they realized the damaged radio had doomed three hundred aboard the ark. ]
I remember how you told the camp to get me whatever I needed to take care of Jasper, after.
That was when I started to like you, even if I didn't let on about it for a while.
Honestly? I didn't think you liked me even a little bit until you hugged me for the first time. And even then I thought maybe you'd mistaken me for someone else.
[ Okay, that last part was a joke. ]
text, after this - https://duplicitynet.dreamwidth.org/26847.html?thread=2970335#cmt2970335
Someone from my homeworld arrived into Duplicity today. If you know anything about Shiloh, you know that is a bad thing. Life and death bad.
If you have any respect for me at all, please, keep anything you know about me (especially pertaining to my history or sex life) completely to yourself. Consequences of abusing my trust in this will not be pretty.
Clarke, something's happened to Murphy. He mentioned blood. I need you to come with me to Jack's apartment. Don't mention anything to Raven yet - apparently it's still dangerous. We can't risk anyone else getting hurt.
[ He barely likes the idea of bringing Clarke with him but she has the training to medically inspect Murphy. ]
[ Sounding slightly out of breath, like he's running: ] The words superhero throwdown were used. [ So yes, most probably. ]
If anyone can help Murphy, it's Achelois. [ Remember that Greek goddess he compared you to, Clarke? Who washes away pain? ] No pressure. [ She'll be able to tell he's smiling a little from his tone. ]
[ her eyes are a bit sad, at that. ] I appreciate the vote of confidence — but if those words mean what I think they mean, I don't know how much help I'll be against someone with superhuman powers.
[ nevertheless she's hastening her steps, her breathing quickening as well. ] Almost there. Meet you outside of the building in five.
[ good point; clarke definitely wouldn't be her first choice to confide in, if this was a finn-type situation.
as it is, these dom/sub contracts are rather tricky with the stipulation that dominants can have multiple subs, but subs are to be contracted only to one. ] Have you guys talked more about it? What did he say?
The thing that hurt the most with Finn was that he was all I had, and he couldn't just tell me.
Do you think I'm making the same mistake? [Yeah, she's talking to her about this. Raven knows Murphy isn't Finn. She knows Johanna isn't Clarke. There's a lot more complicated societal laws here, and she knows that the contract can mean as much or as little as people want it.
She just can't take putting her trust in someone again for them to cast her aside like that. It took too long to try and get over her baggage to get with Wick, and now she feels almost vindicated in not trusting people. Maybe she shouldn't have put, so much into the idea of contracting with Murphy. And now she's kicking herself for it.]
[Unbeknownst to Raven, a picture originally taken from Murphy's phone that was sent to her is now being sent around. And it shows everything. She's laid back on the bed, one leg propped up while she looks up at the camera with a smirk as if to say whatever they clearly just finished, proof of which is the very messed up bed beneath it, was pretty good.]
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duplicitynet.
text; after reading her comments on murphy's post
[ He doesn't know why he's asking when he can't ever be hers, but he's curious. ]
omfg, you.
I haven't given it enough thought, to be honest. I know we have to choose to prevent being paired up with a stranger, but it's something I don't want to rush to define.
[ she's been a little preoccupied since coming here, after all. mostly his fault. ]
Someone older, for one; lots of experience under their belt.
😘
[ Older [✓]
Experienced under the belt [✓] ]
Funny how I tick both those boxes. [ Just a coincidence, right? ]
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she's smirking as she continues: ] Someone who understands leadership, has had some kind of authoritative position. Someone who protects and inspires others.
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Someone with a younger sister, someone who has facial hair, someone whose name rhymes with 'felony'...
[ He's flattered and smug and sad at the same time. ]
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[ if he could see her on video, he'd see right through that. ]
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[ Among other things...
Also, he can't believe he's about to say this but... ]
I miss being your Bodem.
But you probably knew that already.
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she knows it, already; his confession makes her melt a little bit, anyway. ] I miss being able to boss you around, having you feel compelled to do whatever I told you to. I probably could've made even better use out of it.
[ they only got to scratch the surface of kinks she'd like to try, to be honest. ]
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You know you can still boss me around. And I can do what I'm told. Sometimes.
Besides, we're shower pact partners, so what we've been doing...
It's not over. Unless you want it to be.
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And on those times you don't feel like doing what you're told, I can give in to you.
You're the only one I trust enough to see myself giving that kind of control over to, willingly.
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Clarke... you know you have to start trusting people other than me and our friends, right?
But I appreciate the sentiment. Really, I do. [ It means a lot to him to hear her say that. It comforts him in a way he didn't know he needed from her. ]
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[ admittedly, not as hard as she could. this sort of thing doesn't come easily to her, to any of them generally, but to make allies and connections that might benefit them in the long run, trust is definitely needed.
it's just hard to think about trusting someone else fully, when bellamy is within easy reach. ] It's a slow process. [ there's scott, for one, who seems trustworthy despite being something she's only read about in the horror story section of the ark's library. ]
You haven't offered what you're looking for, in a dominant, by the way.
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Someone who keeps me centered. Someone who keeps me on my toes. Someone who tells me I'm special...
Someone who has a perfect ass imprint.
[ Someone who answers to the name Clarke Griffin, basically. ]
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I'm being serious, though. I know you asked me the same question, but you have to consider your options — like who's going to benefit you the most, by being contracted to them.
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Trust me, I'm looking at this strategically.
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she's grinning, though, because she can't help but tease him a bit, despite how seriously she wants him to take this decision. ] You say that, but then you start talking about the imprint of my ass. It made quite the impression on you, didn't it.
Just promise me you'll choose someone who's going to treat you well, too.
[ ...since she can't. ]
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You think I'd choose someone who treats me like dirt?
[ Treated like dirt, but be partnered with someone who could potentially help him in a lot of ways?
Treated like dirt, but maybe that's what he thinks he deserves?
...Okay, so maybe he could make a wrong decision when it comes to this. And maybe it's good that Clarke has reminded him what choice he needs to make, for himself, not just others. ]
I'll try.
You have to, too.
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he deserves to have someone who's going to look out for him, the way she'd be doing in that role, if she could. but instead of pressing the issue - and it's not necessary to, he says he'll try, and she believes him for the most part - she follows the thread of his first statement. ]
When did I leave an impression on you?
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That was probably the moment I realized you weren't a spoiled princess like I thought. You were strong. You ended his suffering and I respected that.
[ She gave that kid the best death he could have got out of a shitty situation, the same way she did with Finn. ]
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I remember how you told the camp to get me whatever I needed to take care of Jasper, after.
That was when I started to like you, even if I didn't let on about it for a while.
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Honestly? I didn't think you liked me even a little bit until you hugged me for the first time. And even then I thought maybe you'd mistaken me for someone else.
[ Okay, that last part was a joke. ]
text, after this - https://duplicitynet.dreamwidth.org/26847.html?thread=2970335#cmt2970335
Think I pissed your boyfriend off.
also in trig...lmfjk bro, pls
What's this about?
:')
[ he just thought it was funny. ]
And has a lot more faith in my ability to stop you from doing anything than he should.
[11/22] text ; un:jbenjamin
Someone from my homeworld arrived into Duplicity today. If you know anything about Shiloh, you know that is a bad thing. Life and death bad.
If you have any respect for me at all, please, keep anything you know about me (especially pertaining to my history or sex life) completely to yourself. Consequences of abusing my trust in this will not be pretty.
Thank you.
audio;
Clarke, something's happened to Murphy. He mentioned blood. I need you to come with me to Jack's apartment. Don't mention anything to Raven yet - apparently it's still dangerous. We can't risk anyone else getting hurt.
[ He barely likes the idea of bringing Clarke with him but she has the training to medically inspect Murphy. ]
audio;
I'm on my way. [ she'll be there sooner rather than later, since she and Raven are still in the Up. ] Are you there with them, now?
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Not yet, but I'm close. If you get to the building first, don't go in without me. Wait for me outside, okay?
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[ if there is, she's at least still packing heat with her thigh holster. ]
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If anyone can help Murphy, it's Achelois. [ Remember that Greek goddess he compared you to, Clarke? Who washes away pain? ] No pressure. [ She'll be able to tell he's smiling a little from his tone. ]
moving it to bell's inbox after this?
[ nevertheless she's hastening her steps, her breathing quickening as well. ] Almost there. Meet you outside of the building in five.
text; un: zer0g
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This is about his app posting, isn't it.
You know this isn't exactly the same thing as Finn, though - right? Maybe he is just helping her out.
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[She wants camaraderie here.]
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as it is, these dom/sub contracts are rather tricky with the stipulation that dominants can have multiple subs, but subs are to be contracted only to one. ] Have you guys talked more about it? What did he say?
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No shit.
The thing that hurt the most with Finn was that he was all I had, and he couldn't just tell me.
Do you think I'm making the same mistake? [Yeah, she's talking to her about this. Raven knows Murphy isn't Finn. She knows Johanna isn't Clarke. There's a lot more complicated societal laws here, and she knows that the contract can mean as much or as little as people want it.
She just can't take putting her trust in someone again for them to cast her aside like that. It took too long to try and get over her baggage to get with Wick, and now she feels almost vindicated in not trusting people. Maybe she shouldn't have put, so much into the idea of contracting with Murphy. And now she's kicking herself for it.]
text; un: b.blake
[ Way to make it sound ominous, Bell. ]
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doesn't mean she's not going to rib him a bit, about it. ] You sure it's not just an excuse to get me in your room while your roommate is out?
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[ Which he does do. Every time. ]
I think maybe we should meet at a bar so I don't get distracted by being alone with you. It's important, what I need to talk to you about.
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Okay. 13th Step, in the Up? Maybe a little lubrication will get what you need to say out, easier.
[ like her choice of words, there? ]
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[ She'll know this is serious because he doesn't give her a filthy reply. ]
I'm already in the Up, so I'll meet you there.
post-dated to the 21st; mistext; un: zer0g